Tag Archives: narcissism

Ode to Emptiness

26 Dec
Ode to Emptiness
 
There was a test that I endured ‘bout 15 years ago
I learned, moved on and worked hard for the life that I now know
I haven’t given it much thought but every now and then
I see another person with same challenge to their zen
 
I’d like to think if I could pass that test then so could they
I try to have faith that they know tomorrow’s a new day
But more and more this term pops up and a voice deep within
Says, “Share your story, share your scars, tell them where you have been”
 
As much as I don’t feel the need to stroll down memory lane
My conscience tells me there are some who could learn from my pain
And so I’ll tell you of a person I knew long ago
Someone I thought was a loved one but in fact was a foe
 
It’s only in these recent years that I’ve began to learn
About a certain term that causes empaths great concern
It’s “Narcissist” and in two words, it means “Empty Inside”
Except for all the bad traits such as jealousy and pride
 
Although I’d like to think that each of us is quite unique
Narcissists are almost clones with minuscule mystique
I’ve read a couple books and watched some ‘gurus’ on the net
And all the commonalities of which they spoke was met
 
With utter, gobsmacked shock at how identical they are
Narcissists all have the same agenda which will scar
They’re empty so they seek out those who are filled with great passion
While their partner thinks it’s true love, they think it’s simply fashion
 
Status is what concerns them, what other people think
And that is why their moods can shift as quickly as a wink
There’s no conscience, no voice inside that whispers, “Loyalty”
There is no heart that says, “Let’s walk their path with empathy”
 
Agenda is how they attempt to fill their empty void
And they don’t care who it leaves scarred, distraught, sad or destroyed
They’re disconnected creatures who use others as supply
And they can move shockingly quick when their victim runs dry
 
I see so many loving folks struggle with how they feel
I see so many genuine kind souls with this ordeal
I see them question themselves since it can’t be their ex mate
Take it from a survivor: your lost love’s filled with hate
 
And bitterness, hostility, disgust, distrust and scorn
And they sought out what they don’t have, something with which you’re born
They lack a soul and so they think proximity will help
While “gaslighting” their partner into a mistreated whelp
 
They’re very clever at it which is why so many want
To get back with tormentor who they think is confidant
I’ll give the same advice as all the gurus give as well:
Walk on, stay away, shut up and steer clear of that hell
 
‘Cause that is all that waits for you if you try to make peace
Narcissists don’t gain unless another does decrease
You’ll never hear a “Sorry” from them said, but if you do
Listen carefully, look close, and you’ll *feel* it’s not true
 
Of my own journey I can say that when we spoke years later
The ‘narc’ that I once knew was still a jealous, petty hater
Competitive and still concerned with prestige and esteem
Bragging and obsessed with all things trendy and mainstream
 
Sad, I thought, and more we spoke, the more it felt like old
Though years change most, for narcissists three decades won’t remold
They’re stuck the way they are, empty and always seeking source
Sucking partners dry and then filing for a divorce
 
Moving on the same day with no heart mending required
Genuine connections? No dear, that’s not how they’re wired
Some will have a child which they’ll use as their supply
Siphoning the joy from all the apples of their eye
 
Move on and use your time to find someone who’s more like you
As hard as it may be to trust, here is what I went through:
I chose to let it go and I got busy with my life
I met a girl, I fell in love, and soon made her my wife
 
We’ve shared a special love for 15 years and every day
I’ve kissed her, hugged her, said, “I love you” and she’s the same way
Every day, my dears, has felt like heaven here on Earth
And maybe that’s because with narcissists, there is no mirth
 
Maybe it’s because with narcissists, you live in hell
Constantly harassed with doubt and insults as they yell
I do assure you that it’s not normal for one who claims
To love you to bombard you with such hate as they spew flames
 
Be honest with yourself and show *yourself* love you deserve
Break the chains, burn the bridge and sever that raw nerve
Don’t dwell on what they did or said, there’s more where that came from
To be around such parasites will only leave you numb
 
Have the faith that you will find someone after your heart
And have the brains to circumvent those who tear you apart
Learn about the beast known as “the narcissist” and then
You’ll recognize their games and will not fall for them again
 
                                   ~Miro
 
For more information on narcissism awareness, I highly recommend visiting Quinn Holliday’s Youtube Channel at

Parking Pandemonium

31 May

 

This video depicts people not too far away from where I live, just 45 minutes up the road in fact, fighting over a parking spot. But people who look closer/try harder know that things aren’t always so simple, so black and white.

This altercation isn’t about a parking spot at all. It’s about people who have become too used to getting what they want, and not developing the skills to cope when their desires aren’t satisfied. The people in this video have become so accustomed to having their desires fulfilled, and throwing temper tantrums when they don’t get what they want, that they’ve *devolved* to the point where a simple parking spot can now send them into a violent frenzy. Men pounding on each other repeatedly. Men pushing and striking women. Women with not enough sense to not charge and push violent men. Grown adults hitting each other and screaming profane, violent threats at each other in the presence of children.

Don’t look away, my dears. It’s the ugly things that will also teach you about the world you live in, not just the pictures of flowers and rainbows. Watch this video carefully and study the psychopath in action. See the complete lack of self control. The lack of empathy for others, and how oblivious they are to the effect their actions have on those around them. They want what they want, and they’ll hurt or disrupt anyone in order to satisfy their ego’s desires.

This is a shining example of why the world needs the types of people I refer to as “Warriors.” If that word still feels too violent and aggressive for your tastes, then replace it with “masters” or “self actualized people” or “aware people” or whatever other word represents a person who can step outside of themselves and easily overcome their ego’s ridiculous behavior by chuckling at themselves and saying, “How silly.”

And we need those people not only to prevent us from going on such destructive rampages for silly desires of convenience and comfort, but to also control the animals like these people who can’t control themselves. It’s disappointing that there was no one there to step in to diffuse this situation. Yes, there were people trying to separate them, but what I saw was a half-hearted effort by people who weren’t prepared to deal with this type of altercation. They called the cops instead (the same cops they most likely curse and call good for nothing).

No, I won’t give you a “If I was there” scenario. I don’t have to imagine a hypothetical situation because I’ve actually been in this situation, with raging psychopaths threatening to tear each other apart. From experience, I can tell you what a Warrior can accomplish in exactly this type of situation: peace. When I witnessed this same situation, I directed my full attention to the most violent and angry member of the party and spoke to him the way I’d speak to the raging, green Hulk, because that’s what a human being is reduced to when a massive ego doesn’t get what it wants. It turns you into an idiot. I made it very simple for him to focus. I kept reminding him to keep eye contact with me and to count to ten. I told him he had lost control and he had to gain it back, and the numbers would help him. It was like speaking to an animal, or an infant child, but it worked. He turned from raging monster to some semblance of a human, aware of himself, his anger, and his need to control himself around other people…and children. The other member of the altercation was truly a full blown psychopath. Completely devoid of empathy. Something very dark and sinister in his eyes. The type of person who could cut your throat for a…well…a parking spot. 🙂 And he wouldn’t bat an eye. The tool to use on these unhinged people is fear. Not fear of pain or injury, but fear of being discovered for what they truly are. With him, I also made and kept close eye contact, but focused on the topic of empathy. I pointed out the reaction of the people around, and how I could *feel* them. They were frightened and some were crying, and I asked him if he could *feel* them. If he had *empathy*. I knew that he didn’t but I also knew that psychopaths/sociopaths/narcissists deep down know what they are, and they do everything in their power to hide it. Showing an obvious lack of empathy for other people’s suffering would “out” him, and so he left. He made sure that everyone was aware it was his decision, and not due to anything I said or fear of the angry person threatening him, but the bottom line is he left without any punches being thrown, and it was fear of being discovered that made him retreat.

“Well that’s you” is what I’ve heard time and time again. I’ve tried to make it clear that I’m not an exceptional person. I’ve never served in the military, I wasn’t trained by a martial arts master, and I don’t have super powers. I’m simply a person who recognized and admired the self-mastery of others like Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and Bruce Lee, and instead of saying “Well, that’s them,” I told myself, “That can be me too.”

When an incident like this breaks out in front of you, that can be you too. You don’t have to be a bystander that cries, or screams, or calls the police and curses them for taking so long, or records the incident with your phone. You can be the one who steps forward and uses a commanding voice, an intense stare and mastery over your own emotions in order to stop the animals from ripping each other to shreds. And not for glory or recognition, but because we were imbued with more potential than to simply be bystanders, or animals tearing each other apart for silly things that don’t matter.

Step up,
~Miro

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Empaths & Narcissists

25 Apr

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