Tag Archives: hurt

Devil on my Shoulder

30 Nov
Devil on my Shoulder
 
There’s a devil on my shoulder
But he doesn’t tell me, “Drink!”
He doesn’t urge to lie or steal
Instead, he whispers, “Sink”
 
This devil took his seat way back
In two thousand and six
He caused my clavicle damage
Which no surgeon can fix
 
Every day he brings the pain
The first moment I wake
Under every smile and laugh
This devil makes me ache
 
He twists his pitch fork deep and hard
Whenever people doubt
The pain spreads to my gut and makes
Me want to puke lunch out
 
Sometimes lightning dances there
And sometimes lava pours
Of all the challenges I’ve faced
Of all the tests and wars
 
Nothing pushes my limits
As this small devil does
The fog, fatigue, the hurt, the ache
And all of it because?
 
More than 10 years have now passed
And still I don’t know why
And many with the same devil
Have made the choice to die
 
What is it that keeps me going?
What drags me along?
Why do I not cry and pout
Despite all that is wrong?
 
Perhaps because that devil is
Not just a part of me
He takes up space no matter where
On this world you may be
 
And our purpose is not to rid
Ourselves of that horned beast
Our purpose and our mission is
Not just to be released
 
Our purpose is to battle and
Our purpose is to duel
Charlie Mike, continue mission
Even with no fuel
 
And when the last breath leaves your lungs
There’s no peace to be had
I won’t be going to heaven
To chill with Christ and dad
 
That little shit who sat upon
My mortal shoulder can’t
Get away that easy, no
To him I will not grant
 
Reprieve simply because my body
Ceases to exist
I’m coming down to meet him and
I’m balling up my fist
 
Religious folk are scared of hell
And hope they can avoid
The fire and the brimstone by
Not getting so annoyed
 
But for the ones like me who carry
Devils dealing pain
Hell is where we are right now
And somehow we maintain
 
Grace, composure, empathy
Despite lightning and flame
Through focus and intensity
No sorries and no shame
 
Make yourself as comfortable
As you can, little scamp
‘Cause when it’s time to move on
I’ll be coming to YOUR camp
 
                           ~Miro
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You Are Loved

17 Nov

You Are Loved

When someone tries to make you feel
As though you do not matter
When someone criticizes what you do
Instead of flatter

When someone tells you to give up
And that you won’t succeed
When someone tries to make your faith
Within yourself recede

When someone who could help chooses
To not show empathy
When someone who could ease your pain
Instead hurts more with glee

When many band together and show
No thought or concern
When all those souls who could have helped
Do nothing except spurn

Remember you are loved by those
Who aren’t made of cold stone
Remember you are loved and that
You are never alone

You are loved by family
Who share your blood and bone
You are loved by friends who care
By picking up the phone

You are loved by survivors
Who know life isn’t fair
You are loved by warriors
Who boldly, bravely dare

You are loved by me because
I know the pain you feel
And since you are a warrior
You’ll endure it with zeal

And most importantly remember
You are loved by YOU
For all the strength and poise and grace
And courage you imbue

                                ~Miro

Vengeance is Mine

29 Dec

“Living well is the best revenge.”
~George Herbert

Vengeance is Mine

There was a time in my life when some people that I loved
Exhibited no empathy and yelled and screamed and shoved
There was a time when co-workers that I liked and admired
Through their selfishness left me without a job and fired
There was a time when family had power over me
To influence and control what they wanted me to be
All these people hurt me deeply and one day I swore
To gain revenge on all of them, the “liar” and the “whore”
The “back-stabber,” the “coward” and the “self-absorbed small brat”
I swore revenge on all of them and tried to do combat
But vengeance can be only gained when enemy’s not there
Revenge is only achieved when your foe is not aware
Only when you turn your back and walk away from those
Who choose themselves instead of you, only when you dispose
Only when you cut them out and severe all your ties
Only when you turn a deaf ear towards all their lies
And focus solely on what you can extract from yourself
Pushing your own limits to fulfill wisdom and health
Only when you sever all connections from outside
No longer allowing others to cajole and chide
No longer allowing others to control your day
And placing greatest importance on your own words you say
Only then can one admit that they are “living well”
Because they don’t obsess, lament, torment themselves and dwell
On gaining vengeance on all those who just aren’t worth the time
Revenge is gained from trying harder, the run, the crawl, the climb
From conquering each challenge with intensity and grace
To not hide from discomfort but to seek it out and chase
Vengeance is now mine and it was found along the Way
That Warriors travel, the path that says “There’s no bad day”
The path that says “There is no hurt, there is no angst, no pain”
“There’s not a single hater who can penetrate my brain”
That, my friends, is living well and vengeance is now mine
And funny thing is even if they never know, that’s fine
All that matters is *I* know and that’s enough for me
And I could not care less if those selfish cowards don’t see

                                                        ~Miro

Stone Walls

5 Oct

“Isolation is a dream killer.” ~Barbara Sher

stone

Stone Walls

She’s been through so much pain
It’s a wonder she’s still sane
Abandoned by all those who should
Have supported and understood
So now she’ll never trust people again

She slaps the mortar down
And builds the stones around
So high that no one can get through
“With me no one will ever screw!”
She shouts defiantly with a stern frown

They come and do their best
The wall is pushed and pressed
But it is solid on outside
Each visitor; quickly denied
With her high stone walls no one can contest

They keep everyone away
The selfish ones at bay
The egotists who would just use
And take advantage and abuse
All people who threaten to wreck her day

She lives inside her fort
No family for support
No friends with whom to share her dreams
These stone walls have a price, it seems
Demons and angels; both alike they thwart

All those who only take
The ones who are so fake
As well as those who only live
To serve, to help, to love, to give
Neither of them can through the stone walls break

And so they all move on
‘Cause no one has the brawn
To dismantle the walls that block
To tear down the defending rock
They all give up and soon they are all gone

She hears nothing out there
No longer do they care
She drove them off because her guard
Did broadcast, barrage and bombard
To all visitors that she will not share

That there is no connection
No kinship, just objection
“Keep out, no visitors welcome!”
And like the stone, she grows so numb
Thanks to her self-made exile of protection

She sits there all alone
Surrounded by her stone
And wonders just how much hurt these
Walls have spared her from to appease
Her selfish wish to no longer be prone

To any kind of threat
To things that make her sweat
And work and strive and grow more strong
To show grace towards what is wrong
She stares at the stone walls now with regret

They haven’t spared at all
They have just kept her small
And terrified of the unknown
Her fear enabled by the stone
Her ego nurtured by the aloof wall

She reaches up to press
A stone and with success
It pushes through and drops to ground
Light pours in and she hears a sound
“Hello,” outside a kind voice does address

She leans down to the gap
And sees a friendly chap
He smiles unassumingly
“Lovely day, don’t you agree?
Or is it hard to tell from your stone trap?”

The Tale of the Bloodless Stone

8 Jun

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

The Tale of the Bloodless Stone

There once was a pair of cold stones
That butted each other all day
Sparks always flew
As they both turned the screw
And had nothing too pleasant to say

One day both stones chose to depart
Their last words were not very nice
Many years passed
And neither stone asked
For peace because of the high price

But something strange started to happen
To one of the stones over years
Instead of departing
When trouble was starting
This stone stood its ground and faced fears

And slowly but surely this stone
Through the magic of courage and grace
Transformed to a man
And in his veins began
Pumping warm blood to his face

And to his arms, legs and whole body
It trickled with the slightest nick
“That’s a hell of a thing!”
They heard this man sing
As he cleaned it away with a lick

Where once he was cold and rock solid
So rigid and uncaring too
Now he was warm
Different from the norm
An amazing change he had gone through

He wondered if his old stone friend
Had maybe gone through the same change
But when they did meet
Old friend was concrete
And it thought that the man was quite strange

The man tried to show how with little
Effort he could make blood trickle
When he beckoned the stone
He received just a groan
The stone, you see, was very fickle

It was still quite rigid and cold
Because warm blood did not flow through
Its veins deep inside
Within was just pride
And soon he knew this to be true:

Just because you do transform
Into something more than a rock
That doesn’t mean all
Have heard the same call
And have figured out how to unlock

The way to get blood from a stone
Through patience, forgiveness and love
Some stones are content
To just sit there and vent
To complain, feel abused and just shove

                                ~Miro

from Warrior Poet Wisdom Vol. VI: Patience.

Compensate

3 Apr

compensate

Compensate

“All or nothing” is a way
Of thinking that will lead
To nothing more than standing still
If you have just one speed

As years go by the damage will
Take toll on a few parts
But when a limb is lost, that’s when
The intensity starts

And heightened training  on surviving
Limbs must then be done
If something is wrong with your arm
Your task is then to run

If knees are shot or ankles ache
Then get yourself a bench
Realize your arms still work
And can be used to clench

And lift and throw around dead weight
And get your life blood flowing
If atrophy attacks one part
Then others must be growing

Compensate, don’t sit and cry
About what doesn’t work
Don’t focus on injury
‘Cause healthy parts you’ll shirk

Warriors will find a way
To push themselves as far
Physically as they can go
No matter what does mar

They’ll run or walk with neck and back
And shoulder injuries
They’ll exercise their abs and chest
Despite their blown-out knees

They are aware of what remains
And let go of what’s gone
So that the healthy parts increase
In endurance and brawn

                                        ~Miro

“I Give Up On You”

28 Feb
Another cold, harsh truth that many won’t be able to accept because they’ve been taught to “never give up on the people they love.” The truth is some of those people are parasites completely controlled by ego and will only sap your strength, not be helped by it..

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I Give Up On You

Countless readers have told me that my writing has said
Exactly in poetic form what they thought in their head
Concepts that they couldn’t find the right words to describe
And my poem took those thoughts and did properly transcribe

So here’s another rhyming song for something that is tough
Words for how you can tell someone that enough’s enough
When someone’s failed you many times and will so many more
It’s hard to not definitively want to close that door

We want to hope, we want to pray, that they will figure out
That what they’re doing’s selfish and they’ll take the proper route
We want to believe they will come around and open eyes
To cease with all their hating, accusations or their lies

There comes a time when intuition speaks to us quite clear
It tells us that it’s pointless now and that the end is near
And yet there’s messages from past which conflict and say “Wait!”
“You can’t abandon them, there’s hope that they’ll get their life straight!”

Confusion comes because to quit seems such a simple thing
But no, my brothers and sisters, it’s harder than to cling
To give up on someone who we gave so much love and hope
Is an extremely difficult climb up a lofty slope

It takes your effort, concentration, adamance, resolve
To make a friendship that you cared so much for just dissolve
It takes a constant reminder to self that it is right
That those who care just for themselves must be gone from our sight

And it’s important to remember that we’re not God
We cannot perform miracles on people who are flawed
We do our best and let it go and leave the rest to fate
We must release ourselves from that unreasonable weight

For it is truly without reason why we still stand by
People who destroy themselves and make their loved ones cry
There’s no reason in standing by someone who doesn’t care
You’re not a slave, you’re not a captive in their tragic lair

So stand up, speak up and say it, say “I give up on you”
I did my best, I’m satisfied that I cannot get through
I’m not a God or wizard and can only do so much
And so I now release you from my hopeful, caring clutch

It’s over, I give up because you’re just a parasite
Sucking life from anyone who casts their graceful light
It’s time you tried to shine yourself, and so I bid good day
I give up on you is all that I have left to say”

Sometimes it’s these cutting words, not words soft and so sweet
That rattle cages and force selfish ego’s quick retreat
A Warrior does not encourage, pander or condone
Ingratitude or thoughtlessness and makes their feelings known

                                                            ~Miro