Tag Archives: empathy

The Myth of Multitasking: How Phones Destroy Focus

6 Jul

Parking Pandemonium

31 May

 

This video depicts people not too far away from where I live, just 45 minutes up the road in fact, fighting over a parking spot. But people who look closer/try harder know that things aren’t always so simple, so black and white.

This altercation isn’t about a parking spot at all. It’s about people who have become too used to getting what they want, and not developing the skills to cope when their desires aren’t satisfied. The people in this video have become so accustomed to having their desires fulfilled, and throwing temper tantrums when they don’t get what they want, that they’ve *devolved* to the point where a simple parking spot can now send them into a violent frenzy. Men pounding on each other repeatedly. Men pushing and striking women. Women with not enough sense to not charge and push violent men. Grown adults hitting each other and screaming profane, violent threats at each other in the presence of children.

Don’t look away, my dears. It’s the ugly things that will also teach you about the world you live in, not just the pictures of flowers and rainbows. Watch this video carefully and study the psychopath in action. See the complete lack of self control. The lack of empathy for others, and how oblivious they are to the effect their actions have on those around them. They want what they want, and they’ll hurt or disrupt anyone in order to satisfy their ego’s desires.

This is a shining example of why the world needs the types of people I refer to as “Warriors.” If that word still feels too violent and aggressive for your tastes, then replace it with “masters” or “self actualized people” or “aware people” or whatever other word represents a person who can step outside of themselves and easily overcome their ego’s ridiculous behavior by chuckling at themselves and saying, “How silly.”

And we need those people not only to prevent us from going on such destructive rampages for silly desires of convenience and comfort, but to also control the animals like these people who can’t control themselves. It’s disappointing that there was no one there to step in to diffuse this situation. Yes, there were people trying to separate them, but what I saw was a half-hearted effort by people who weren’t prepared to deal with this type of altercation. They called the cops instead (the same cops they most likely curse and call good for nothing).

No, I won’t give you a “If I was there” scenario. I don’t have to imagine a hypothetical situation because I’ve actually been in this situation, with raging psychopaths threatening to tear each other apart. From experience, I can tell you what a Warrior can accomplish in exactly this type of situation: peace. When I witnessed this same situation, I directed my full attention to the most violent and angry member of the party and spoke to him the way I’d speak to the raging, green Hulk, because that’s what a human being is reduced to when a massive ego doesn’t get what it wants. It turns you into an idiot. I made it very simple for him to focus. I kept reminding him to keep eye contact with me and to count to ten. I told him he had lost control and he had to gain it back, and the numbers would help him. It was like speaking to an animal, or an infant child, but it worked. He turned from raging monster to some semblance of a human, aware of himself, his anger, and his need to control himself around other people…and children. The other member of the altercation was truly a full blown psychopath. Completely devoid of empathy. Something very dark and sinister in his eyes. The type of person who could cut your throat for a…well…a parking spot. 🙂 And he wouldn’t bat an eye. The tool to use on these unhinged people is fear. Not fear of pain or injury, but fear of being discovered for what they truly are. With him, I also made and kept close eye contact, but focused on the topic of empathy. I pointed out the reaction of the people around, and how I could *feel* them. They were frightened and some were crying, and I asked him if he could *feel* them. If he had *empathy*. I knew that he didn’t but I also knew that psychopaths/sociopaths/narcissists deep down know what they are, and they do everything in their power to hide it. Showing an obvious lack of empathy for other people’s suffering would “out” him, and so he left. He made sure that everyone was aware it was his decision, and not due to anything I said or fear of the angry person threatening him, but the bottom line is he left without any punches being thrown, and it was fear of being discovered that made him retreat.

“Well that’s you” is what I’ve heard time and time again. I’ve tried to make it clear that I’m not an exceptional person. I’ve never served in the military, I wasn’t trained by a martial arts master, and I don’t have super powers. I’m simply a person who recognized and admired the self-mastery of others like Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and Bruce Lee, and instead of saying “Well, that’s them,” I told myself, “That can be me too.”

When an incident like this breaks out in front of you, that can be you too. You don’t have to be a bystander that cries, or screams, or calls the police and curses them for taking so long, or records the incident with your phone. You can be the one who steps forward and uses a commanding voice, an intense stare and mastery over your own emotions in order to stop the animals from ripping each other to shreds. And not for glory or recognition, but because we were imbued with more potential than to simply be bystanders, or animals tearing each other apart for silly things that don’t matter.

Step up,
~Miro

Be Appropriate

5 May

Be Appropriate

So many read self-help books and try to devise a plan
A be-all, end-all procedure to follow rather than
Treating every situation as if it’s unique
They’d rather go on auto-pilot than have to critique

Experience is valuable, but it cannot foresee
How EVERY situation going forward’s going to be
If there is one plain, simple rule on how to deal with all
It’s “Be appropriate,” sometimes you’ll laugh, sometimes you’ll brawl

There’s no way to predict a situation so you must
Discern what is appropriate, your gut’s what you should trust
Be peaceful with those who are peaceful and lower your voice
Be confident with schemers and be adamant in choice

Skip words like “I” and “me” with empaths, walk miles in their shoes
Show no mercy with narcissists and fight those who abuse
Praise the ones who give much praise, support the ones who care
And those who bully; push them back, go nose-to-nose and dare

So many carry so much guilt because their parents taught
“You should be nice to everyone” but that’s a naive thought
Monsters do exist and hoping for the best won’t work
It’s in presence of selflessness where these demons all lurk

They prey upon the ones who do not judge and tear them down
They satisfy their desires and leave the host to drown
And all these victims fall because they were taught to be nice
And just smile when someone puts their neck into a vice

May I suggest a different plan instead of “being kind”
Be apt, alert, befitting, be appropriate, not blind
Do what most find unpleasant and use your empathy
To look deep into people’s souls and accept what you see

Those who live for truth and love; cherish with high regard
Those who live for lies and hate, put fists up, be on guard
Life’s not just sunshine and rainbows, sometimes there is rain
Umbrellas work much better than hoping drops will abstain

                                                                  ~Miro

Master Manipulators

27 Apr

Master Manipulators

They chuckle right away, a big and hearty, cheerful laugh
Setting you at ease with smiles that’d fail a polygraph
They butter you right up with compliments, “You’re looking well!”
Jokes and witty comments, they expertly weave their spell

They use basic psychology to get just what they want
Appealing to the ego while they act all nonchalant
Actors who don’t have a stage, they mingle with the crowd
Using all the right words to make you feel tall and proud

And many victims fall for it because they’re malnourished
For any positivity to make them feel flourished
So many have so little confidence that these fake smiles
And compliments are rarely met with suspicious denials

There’s no technique to vet them out, no manual or checklist
Just one intangible feeling that will always assist:
Empathy, a trait they lack, it stops from doing harm
Reminding us we’re connected, but they instead use charm

Because they’re disconnected which is why they always use
Manipulate for their own gain even if they abuse
Your empathy will unmask them and show how paper thin
That smile is, if they are pressed it shows under that grin

Is someone who’s empty inside and desperate to have “more”
Past all the charm is something sad and dark you can’t ignore:
Weakness, fear and selfishness disguised behind the lure
And when you do persist to ask, the ruse will not endure

Though they exploit emotions in all others, they can’t stand
To talk about their own, it’s an off-limits, taboo brand
Dare to delve with empathy and then just watch how fast
That charming smile dissipates when they feel they’re harassed

And that’s because the joy they flaunt is simply a veneer
Which hides a scheming, green-eyed monster with a jealous sneer
Perhaps you’d rather not know and prefer all the fake praise
But with awareness, such kudos will make an eyebrow raise

                                           ~Miro

Image

Empaths & Narcissists

25 Apr

Capture

Narcissists

22 Apr

Narcissists

If you are one who’s filled with love and empathy for others
You should be warned not everyone’s your sister or your brother
Though understanding may run deep, it’s vital to accept
There is a beast upon this Earth that’s empathy inept

The common nomenclature for this creature with no soul
Is “Narcissist,” whose heart is cold and black and dry as coal
The yogis, hippies, and free spirits say, “Love conquers all”
But I assure with Narcissists, the greatest love will fall

Love will crack and crumble, love will be sucked dry to ash
Love will shatter when with a Narcissist it does clash
All the good intentions won’t surmount this tragic fact:
Narcissists do not reciprocate, they just subtract

A mental illness that cannot be cured with medication
Or therapy or quotes or exercise or meditation
The Narcissist does not feel empathy and can’t relate
They can’t imagine selfless love, they’re fueled by selfish hate

Competitors, they have to win, and so all life’s a game
That’s why they strive for money, adulation, respect, fame
They think the world of themselves and their eyes light up so bright
Whenever someone tells them that they’re good, witty or right

But Narcissists are parasites and flow in one direction
They take but never give because they’re missing that connection
That’s known as “empathy,” the mystic trait that lets us feel
What others do experience as if to us it’s real

Empathy, vicarious reality of those
Who stand across from us, it lets us feel their aches and woes
Instinctively we know just what to say or do to aid
To inspire, to comfort, help someone not be afraid

But Narcissists are lost in space, they don’t feel what you feel
‘Cause walking in another’s shoes to them has no appeal
Their life is all about themselves and others are just tools
To help them get and feel the things they want, “Empathic fools!”

Be warned, my friends, no logic, reason, empathy or caring
No understanding, sympathy, no courage and no daring
Will get through to a Narcissist because they’re not like you
Do not be fooled simply because they seem like humans too

Behind those normal looking eyes is ego which pleads, “More!”
Never will it be enough, and this is not a war
That’s worthy of your time or sweat because the Narcissist
Is tragically a lost cause, not someone you can assist

This is where you prove yourself a Warrior by action
By letting go the things you can’t control, by a subtraction
Let go, walk on, and accept one of life’s truths so dark:
That there are crazy people who will hurt you known as “narc”

                                               ~Miro

Scapegoat

1 Sep

Scapegoat

We shuffle off to voting stations to choose a new boss
Someone to deliver us from this failure and loss
Someone who will take over and right the wrongs of he
Who took the reins and steered us right into a goddamn tree!
That bastard, that son of a bitch who betrayed all our trust
Who made all those sweet promises but now evokes disgust
How dare he take our gift of power and do this to us?
That fucking moron! Asshole! Piece of shit! Cuss, cuss, cuss, cuss!
This new guy, though, he sounds real keen, we bet he’ll fix this mess
He alone will cure our grief and get rid of our stress
He’s the one! Yes, this time we’re all sure it works out fine
Look at all his campaign ads! That smile! What a shine!



Fast forward four or eight years and he’s an asshole too!
That bastard! That son of a bitch! His promises weren’t true!
How dare he lie to us like that? He was worse than the first!
Why can’t we find a great leader? Are we really cursed?
Oh wait, who’s this new kid in town? His smile is very bright
And charming too! I bet he’ll help to ease our awful plight
Look at how friendly he is, yes, this time we are sure
Our future’s safe within his hands, protected and secure



It saddens me how many people fail to plainly see
The pattern that is politics and want a guarantee
It saddens me how many are so simple in their thought
They fail to see it’s not the boss but it’s the JOB that’s wrought
With problems that prevent each person from doing jack shit
No amount of honesty, integrity and wit
No amount of passion, poise and focus, grace and verve
Will be enough to garner empathy for those who serve
The sheep just pick another scapegoat to drag across coals
And never have the courage to step up and grab controls
Each whiner and complainer doesn’t have the gall to run
They criticize yet what have they achieved? What have they done?
It saddens me to see how many give a job review
Of their elected leader yet nothing in them does stew
To serve their fellow countrymen like all the scapegoats feel
So here’s a word of gratitude to all those made of steel
To Presidents, Prime Ministers, to Governors and Mayors
Who are bombarded with impossible to appease prayers
Thanks for trying your best with the system that you’ve got
It’s broken, flawed and faulty, foul, filled with puss and rot
Thanks for walking into hell and giving it your best
You’re Warriors for embarking on such a futile quest

                                              ~Miro