Tag Archives: empathy

Sensitive vs Fragile

28 May

Sensitive vs Fragile

“So sensitive!” the phrase is used
When ‘feelings’ do get hurt
The idea sensitivity
Is bad does disconcert

Sensitive is vital
It’s a show of empathy
Awareness of what’s going on
In others, not just “me”

But ‘sensitive’ too often comes
With armor far too thin
Fragility; so quick to wound
No leather, just soft skin

To have great sensitivity
But also heavy shield
Is empathy and endurance
Only the wisest wield

To be awake, aware, attuned
But also withstand fire
To see the ugliness and wrong
To wade through the quagmire

With hands that do not tremble and
With voice that’s stern and steady
With deep breaths slow, deliberate
And clear mind, sharp and ready

Only 1 in 100
Aren’t triggered and don’t crack
Only few are sensitive
While still immune to flak

Because they have discarded the
Weak plate that posed a threat
To the integrity of their defense:
The ego’s fret

Be sensitive, awake, aware
Be mindful, but not frail
Fragility will cause these gifts
To lead to no avail

                           ~Miro

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You Are Loved

17 Nov

You Are Loved

When someone tries to make you feel
As though you do not matter
When someone criticizes what you do
Instead of flatter

When someone tells you to give up
And that you won’t succeed
When someone tries to make your faith
Within yourself recede

When someone who could help chooses
To not show empathy
When someone who could ease your pain
Instead hurts more with glee

When many band together and show
No thought or concern
When all those souls who could have helped
Do nothing except spurn

Remember you are loved by those
Who aren’t made of cold stone
Remember you are loved and that
You are never alone

You are loved by family
Who share your blood and bone
You are loved by friends who care
By picking up the phone

You are loved by survivors
Who know life isn’t fair
You are loved by warriors
Who boldly, bravely dare

You are loved by me because
I know the pain you feel
And since you are a warrior
You’ll endure it with zeal

And most importantly remember
You are loved by YOU
For all the strength and poise and grace
And courage you imbue

                                ~Miro

The Scorpion and the Frog

16 Nov

The Scorpion and the Frog

There was a frog who swam along
The river one fine day
He came upon a scorpion
On the shore in dismay

“What seems to be the trouble?”
The frog asked with some concern
“I need to cross the river!”
The sharp-tip tailed one did yearn

“Would you be so kind and give
A ride upon your back?”
The frog thought, then thought twice, then thrice
And cautiously said back:

“I’m not so sure that would be wise
I fear that you would sting
And I would sink and drown since I’m not
Much for snorkeling

“Don’t be silly!” the scorpion said
“I’d sink along with you!
I can’t swim or breathe submerged
To do so, I’D be through!”

“Hmmm,” the frog thought to himself
“That’s true, you’d drown as well
Ok, I’m always pleased to help
Climb on board for a spell!”

“Thank you!” scorpion said with joy
And creeped upon the back
‘Bout halfway ‘cross the river
The passenger did attack

The tail snapped down and stinger pierced
The frog and he went numb
“Why?” he asked with shock and sank
Surprised at the outcome

“Because,” the scorpion replied
With apathy so cold
“I am a scorpion, it’s in my nature
In my mould”

“But you’ll drown too!” the frog gurgled
As they hit river bed
“It’s what I do, I cannot change”
And soon they both were dead

                             ~Miro

The Myth of Multitasking: How Phones Destroy Focus

6 Jul

Parking Pandemonium

31 May

 

This video depicts people not too far away from where I live, just 45 minutes up the road in fact, fighting over a parking spot. But people who look closer/try harder know that things aren’t always so simple, so black and white.

This altercation isn’t about a parking spot at all. It’s about people who have become too used to getting what they want, and not developing the skills to cope when their desires aren’t satisfied. The people in this video have become so accustomed to having their desires fulfilled, and throwing temper tantrums when they don’t get what they want, that they’ve *devolved* to the point where a simple parking spot can now send them into a violent frenzy. Men pounding on each other repeatedly. Men pushing and striking women. Women with not enough sense to not charge and push violent men. Grown adults hitting each other and screaming profane, violent threats at each other in the presence of children.

Don’t look away, my dears. It’s the ugly things that will also teach you about the world you live in, not just the pictures of flowers and rainbows. Watch this video carefully and study the psychopath in action. See the complete lack of self control. The lack of empathy for others, and how oblivious they are to the effect their actions have on those around them. They want what they want, and they’ll hurt or disrupt anyone in order to satisfy their ego’s desires.

This is a shining example of why the world needs the types of people I refer to as “Warriors.” If that word still feels too violent and aggressive for your tastes, then replace it with “masters” or “self actualized people” or “aware people” or whatever other word represents a person who can step outside of themselves and easily overcome their ego’s ridiculous behavior by chuckling at themselves and saying, “How silly.”

And we need those people not only to prevent us from going on such destructive rampages for silly desires of convenience and comfort, but to also control the animals like these people who can’t control themselves. It’s disappointing that there was no one there to step in to diffuse this situation. Yes, there were people trying to separate them, but what I saw was a half-hearted effort by people who weren’t prepared to deal with this type of altercation. They called the cops instead (the same cops they most likely curse and call good for nothing).

No, I won’t give you a “If I was there” scenario. I don’t have to imagine a hypothetical situation because I’ve actually been in this situation, with raging psychopaths threatening to tear each other apart. From experience, I can tell you what a Warrior can accomplish in exactly this type of situation: peace. When I witnessed this same situation, I directed my full attention to the most violent and angry member of the party and spoke to him the way I’d speak to the raging, green Hulk, because that’s what a human being is reduced to when a massive ego doesn’t get what it wants. It turns you into an idiot. I made it very simple for him to focus. I kept reminding him to keep eye contact with me and to count to ten. I told him he had lost control and he had to gain it back, and the numbers would help him. It was like speaking to an animal, or an infant child, but it worked. He turned from raging monster to some semblance of a human, aware of himself, his anger, and his need to control himself around other people…and children. The other member of the altercation was truly a full blown psychopath. Completely devoid of empathy. Something very dark and sinister in his eyes. The type of person who could cut your throat for a…well…a parking spot. 🙂 And he wouldn’t bat an eye. The tool to use on these unhinged people is fear. Not fear of pain or injury, but fear of being discovered for what they truly are. With him, I also made and kept close eye contact, but focused on the topic of empathy. I pointed out the reaction of the people around, and how I could *feel* them. They were frightened and some were crying, and I asked him if he could *feel* them. If he had *empathy*. I knew that he didn’t but I also knew that psychopaths/sociopaths/narcissists deep down know what they are, and they do everything in their power to hide it. Showing an obvious lack of empathy for other people’s suffering would “out” him, and so he left. He made sure that everyone was aware it was his decision, and not due to anything I said or fear of the angry person threatening him, but the bottom line is he left without any punches being thrown, and it was fear of being discovered that made him retreat.

“Well that’s you” is what I’ve heard time and time again. I’ve tried to make it clear that I’m not an exceptional person. I’ve never served in the military, I wasn’t trained by a martial arts master, and I don’t have super powers. I’m simply a person who recognized and admired the self-mastery of others like Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and Bruce Lee, and instead of saying “Well, that’s them,” I told myself, “That can be me too.”

When an incident like this breaks out in front of you, that can be you too. You don’t have to be a bystander that cries, or screams, or calls the police and curses them for taking so long, or records the incident with your phone. You can be the one who steps forward and uses a commanding voice, an intense stare and mastery over your own emotions in order to stop the animals from ripping each other to shreds. And not for glory or recognition, but because we were imbued with more potential than to simply be bystanders, or animals tearing each other apart for silly things that don’t matter.

Step up,
~Miro

Be Appropriate

5 May

Be Appropriate

So many read self-help books and try to devise a plan
A be-all, end-all procedure to follow rather than
Treating every situation as if it’s unique
They’d rather go on auto-pilot than have to critique

Experience is valuable, but it cannot foresee
How EVERY situation going forward’s going to be
If there is one plain, simple rule on how to deal with all
It’s “Be appropriate,” sometimes you’ll laugh, sometimes you’ll brawl

There’s no way to predict a situation so you must
Discern what is appropriate, your gut’s what you should trust
Be peaceful with those who are peaceful and lower your voice
Be confident with schemers and be adamant in choice

Skip words like “I” and “me” with empaths, walk miles in their shoes
Show no mercy with narcissists and fight those who abuse
Praise the ones who give much praise, support the ones who care
And those who bully; push them back, go nose-to-nose and dare

So many carry so much guilt because their parents taught
“You should be nice to everyone” but that’s a naive thought
Monsters do exist and hoping for the best won’t work
It’s in presence of selflessness where these demons all lurk

They prey upon the ones who do not judge and tear them down
They satisfy their desires and leave the host to drown
And all these victims fall because they were taught to be nice
And just smile when someone puts their neck into a vice

May I suggest a different plan instead of “being kind”
Be apt, alert, befitting, be appropriate, not blind
Do what most find unpleasant and use your empathy
To look deep into people’s souls and accept what you see

Those who live for truth and love; cherish with high regard
Those who live for lies and hate, put fists up, be on guard
Life’s not just sunshine and rainbows, sometimes there is rain
Umbrellas work much better than hoping drops will abstain

                                                                  ~Miro

Master Manipulators

27 Apr

Master Manipulators

They chuckle right away, a big and hearty, cheerful laugh
Setting you at ease with smiles that’d fail a polygraph
They butter you right up with compliments, “You’re looking well!”
Jokes and witty comments, they expertly weave their spell

They use basic psychology to get just what they want
Appealing to the ego while they act all nonchalant
Actors who don’t have a stage, they mingle with the crowd
Using all the right words to make you feel tall and proud

And many victims fall for it because they’re malnourished
For any positivity to make them feel flourished
So many have so little confidence that these fake smiles
And compliments are rarely met with suspicious denials

There’s no technique to vet them out, no manual or checklist
Just one intangible feeling that will always assist:
Empathy, a trait they lack, it stops from doing harm
Reminding us we’re connected, but they instead use charm

Because they’re disconnected which is why they always use
Manipulate for their own gain even if they abuse
Your empathy will unmask them and show how paper thin
That smile is, if they are pressed it shows under that grin

Is someone who’s empty inside and desperate to have “more”
Past all the charm is something sad and dark you can’t ignore:
Weakness, fear and selfishness disguised behind the lure
And when you do persist to ask, the ruse will not endure

Though they exploit emotions in all others, they can’t stand
To talk about their own, it’s an off-limits, taboo brand
Dare to delve with empathy and then just watch how fast
That charming smile dissipates when they feel they’re harassed

And that’s because the joy they flaunt is simply a veneer
Which hides a scheming, green-eyed monster with a jealous sneer
Perhaps you’d rather not know and prefer all the fake praise
But with awareness, such kudos will make an eyebrow raise

                                           ~Miro