Devil on my Shoulder

30 Nov
Devil on my Shoulder
 
There’s a devil on my shoulder
But he doesn’t tell me, “Drink!”
He doesn’t urge to lie or steal
Instead, he whispers, “Sink”
 
This devil took his seat way back
In two thousand and six
He caused my clavicle damage
Which no surgeon can fix
 
Every day he brings the pain
The first moment I wake
Under every smile and laugh
This devil makes me ache
 
He twists his pitch fork deep and hard
Whenever people doubt
The pain spreads to my gut and makes
Me want to puke lunch out
 
Sometimes lightning dances there
And sometimes lava pours
Of all the challenges I’ve faced
Of all the tests and wars
 
Nothing pushes my limits
As this small devil does
The fog, fatigue, the hurt, the ache
And all of it because?
 
More than 10 years have now passed
And still I don’t know why
And many with the same devil
Have made the choice to die
 
What is it that keeps me going?
What drags me along?
Why do I not cry and pout
Despite all that is wrong?
 
Perhaps because that devil is
Not just a part of me
He takes up space no matter where
On this world you may be
 
And our purpose is not to rid
Ourselves of that horned beast
Our purpose and our mission is
Not just to be released
 
Our purpose is to battle and
Our purpose is to duel
Charlie Mike, continue mission
Even with no fuel
 
And when the last breath leaves your lungs
There’s no peace to be had
I won’t be going to heaven
To chill with Christ and dad
 
That little shit who sat upon
My mortal shoulder can’t
Get away that easy, no
To him I will not grant
 
Reprieve simply because my body
Ceases to exist
I’m coming down to meet him and
I’m balling up my fist
 
Religious folk are scared of hell
And hope they can avoid
The fire and the brimstone by
Not getting so annoyed
 
But for the ones like me who carry
Devils dealing pain
Hell is where we are right now
And somehow we maintain
 
Grace, composure, empathy
Despite lightning and flame
Through focus and intensity
No sorries and no shame
 
Make yourself as comfortable
As you can, little scamp
‘Cause when it’s time to move on
I’ll be coming to YOUR camp
 
                           ~Miro
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