Distant Bullies

25 Oct

 

A little story about the nature and psychology of bullies: No poems about this encounter, just another example of how “people lie” and don’t present themselves as they really are. As I was walking on the sidewalk today, a young man wearing sunglasses and a hood bobbed from side to side as he walked in “thuggish” manner. His exaggerated movements made it impossible to *not* notice him. As he passed by, he angrily looked at me and said “What the fuck you looking at?” As I continued, I heard him continue to threaten me, saying, “You got a problem? You don’t know me, don’t be lookin’ at me!” Most people would continue walking. Most would feel intimidated and think, “Oh God, I don’t need this, please just leave me alone.” Most people aren’t Warriors though…

I turned around and looked at him, despite his warning. I didn’t return any insults, nor did I look angry or exhibit any hostility towards him. I simply stood and watched him, blankly. He pulled off his sunglasses and started walking towards me and continued to spout his brave threats…until he was about 6 feet away from me. Then something typical happened. As with most bullies, he became a coward once proximity was no longer protecting him. He backed into a door to a store, flung it open, threatened me once again with bodily harm and then disappeared into the store, as if he had meant to go in all along. As he entered, I said only one word to him, calmly: “Relax.” He had no response to this person who dared look at him and tell him what to do.

Ever since I stopped walking away from bullies, this has happened on every single occasion with people who have threatened me or tried to physically intimate me. No exceptions, my friends. People continue to warn me and say “One of these days, you’re going to get yourself in trouble!” but those people are comfort addicts. Let me make it clear that I don’t approach these bullies and I don’t verbally engage them. I simply stand there and watch. You know how they say dogs can sense fear? People are similar, they can sense when someone has no fear. And it scares the shit out of them. Remember that next time someone threatens you. Remember that “people lie.” Being afraid will only feed the monster. If you simply stand your ground and give them nothing, it forces *them* to act, not react. And that’s something bullies just don’t like to do: think and act on their own.

True story.

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8 Responses to “Distant Bullies”

  1. Cat Forsley October 25, 2012 at 8:57 am #

    That’s non violence on Your Part Miro ……….
    That’s the every best approach my bro ………

    it’s their stuff not yours x
    love x
    C

    • Miro October 25, 2012 at 9:02 am #

      So true, Cat. I can’t be angry at him because I feel sorry for him. He’s like that because people who were supposed to be his friends and loved ones have made him that way. Rather than take control of his own actions, he’s allowed them to make him into a hater, and all he’s trying to do now is continue the cycle.

      • Cat Forsley October 25, 2012 at 9:07 am #

        Totally right — all you can do – is send them quiet compassion – it’s a bunch of walls around his heart or bullies hearts in general – and the walls are so high that he can ‘t get out – only thinking maybe he can act out and break those walls to his heart –
        but it does’t work like that –
        the cycle – as you say won’t be broken until he heals – and breaks his own walls down —

  2. Sue Dreamwalker October 25, 2012 at 1:02 pm #

    You know Miro, I’m so pleased you shared this true story..
    My Son was bullied at School.. He has red hair and students found it a source of amusement to find every opportunity to verbalise abuse…

    It wasnt however until my Son left school he shared about the Bullying.. I asked him why for maybe I could have done something to stop it happening as I felt my motherly guilt of being a working Mum..
    My sons response was ‘Mum you couldnt have stopped it… It was up to me not to accept it and I dealt with it..” He then said one of those bullies later became my best friend, because of how events had unfolded… He never told me his story..

    But aged 18 my son had a small win and with money we had saved through out his life he bought a old banger of a car after passing his driving test first time…
    He’d parked it in a car park while we had all gone to the cinema .. When we came out late at night his car had a police aware sticker on as we saw his side window smashed and his radio stolen,,
    I was gutted for him as this car was his pride and joy…

    But I became full of pride when he said.. ‘Mum, its only a radio, I can get another’. He said ‘the person who took it obviously needed it more than I did.’. ( knowing mostly drug addicts in the area were always stealing car radios ),, I was so proud of him that night.. still am, Both my children make me proud..

    Those who often bully are unloved and lost… thinking they have to prove themselves.. when in fact they make themselves look foolish..

    ” Relax” is all they need do, instead of thinking themselves All important..
    We are all the same…. no one better than another… but our Actions depict Who is a Warrior and who is an idiot… Well done Miro… unfortunately there are still plenty of Idiots roaming the streets… But so pleased to know a fellow Warrior..
    Blessings Sue

  3. George W Mahn III October 25, 2012 at 1:13 pm #

    An excellent and powerful approach, Miro!

  4. zendictive October 25, 2012 at 2:37 pm #

    do you know why dogs bark?
    they are afraid… This their intimidation factor… People are the same… In the prison, I see this a lot with new officers who come in barking orders and yelling as a way of trying to prove they are tough when in reality it is like a dog barking. Words are not needed to relay who or what you are, like when you turned and faced the thug. In the movie, “Circle of Iron” the way of the monkey is to make as much noise as possible to get you to walk a way and then they bite you from behind. You are an inspiration and seasoned warrior to act as you have, glad to know there are more like this in the world. The art of fighting without fighting.

  5. iamforchange October 26, 2012 at 12:33 am #

    Sweet! Thanks for being an example and sharing your thoughts with love. This is a different side of you shared… Out of the box in a way awesome my friend!

  6. gingerfightback October 26, 2012 at 8:27 am #

    Inspirational stuff

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