No Apologies

5 Feb

“It is a good rule in life never to apologize.  The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.”  ~P.G. Wodehouse, The Man Upstairs

No Apologies

Sorry is a word that we
Should try our best to lose
It’s a concept Warriors
Should rarely ever use

We say it with no thought of how
The word’s truly defined
So let me take a moment to
Look it up and remind:

Regrettable, deplorable
Sorrowful, grieved or sad
Wretched, poor and pitiful
Without use to be had

Warriors are never sorry
For a single thing
They understand the consequences
Of the words they fling

They put thought into what they say
And also what they do
And when some feelings get hurt they
Still hold fast and stay true

To what they do believe in
Even if feathers are ruffled
They don’t make up excuses and
Let their voices be muffled

The goal is to be confident
In all you do and say
All “I’m sorry” serves to do
Is shows that you will stray

“I’m sorry” is a “too late” phrase
It doesn’t change the past
Resolve to make the next time that
You say it be your last

Resolve to not do anything
That you will soon regret
Do nothing deplorable
That will leave you in debt

Save yourself from the sorrow
From being sad and grieved
If you said or did something
It’s because you believed

Be not wretched, pitiful
You’re much better than that
Differing opinions don’t
Have to end in combat

Agree to disagree and let
Each side have their own views
Never let another’s ego
Make you sing the blues

By saying that you’re sorry and
Indulging “sensitives”
Tip-toeing on eggshells is
Not how a Warrior lives

Replace “sorry” with “deal with it”
Or a similar phrase
Like “get over yourself” and watch
All of the eyebrows raise

Because it’s in that moment where
The ego shows its face
Showing no regret is how
We put it in its place

                              ~Miro

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29 Responses to “No Apologies”

  1. Nandini February 5, 2012 at 9:10 am #

    Very thoughtful. I’m in my thoughts now. Thanks, for giving something to ponder upon. Great poem! 🙂

    • Miro February 5, 2012 at 2:48 pm #

      Thanks Nandini, always the greatest compliment to hear deeper thought has been inspired by one of my writes.
      Peace & grace,
      ~Miro

  2. zendictive February 5, 2012 at 9:30 am #

    cool beans…reminded me of a poem I wrote a long time ago about “stepping on toes” once it is done you can say I am sorry but that does not take the pain away nor the feelings that go with the act… it is what you do from there that makes the difference. (~_~)

    • Miro February 5, 2012 at 2:47 pm #

      Absolutely! Actions speak louder than words! 🙂
      Peace & grace,
      ~Miro

  3. bipolarmuse February 5, 2012 at 9:39 am #

    I really took this to heart. I use to be a “sorry” person and said it for silly things, like being in someones way. I have worked hard to stop using the word… amongst others. I thank you for this poem my friend.

    • Miro February 5, 2012 at 2:42 pm #

      Glad to hear it. It’s a bit tricky losing the expression for innocent mishaps like bumping into people, but I always try to make light of it with a joke instead of a “sorry.” As with everything, the more we train, the more it becomes second nature.
      Thanks for reading.
      Peace & grace,
      ~Miro

  4. Deb February 5, 2012 at 10:51 am #

    I too use to say the word “sorry,” for every little inconvenience that I sensed I may have imposed on them. If I bumped them, if they told me something that made them sad, if I was got in their way of their path they were walking…the list could go on, but I will not bother you with it, for it’s sickening even for me to think about it. But what I do have to think about is not to say it so thoughtlessly. Instead, think before I speak and do, then hold fast….Still working on this too.

    I want to thank you for this poem, Miro, I will keep it on my desktop to remind me…It is a great helper for me to remember to stop using the word, that I don’t want to use.

    Hugs, xx

    • Miro February 5, 2012 at 2:38 pm #

      I can relate to that, Deb. I used to be sorry for every minor inconvenience, offense and annoyance as well. It showed a lack of thought and concentration on my actions, and an unhealthy and impossible desire to please everyone, even those impossible to please.

      When I resolved to no longer apologize, I was challenged to make very sure everything I said and did was not going to be something to be regretted later. Since that vow, I’ve said things to some selfish and thoughtless people that were harsh (truth hurts!), but I’ve never said them in anger. When their egos had cooled down and they apologized, I’ve never given one back, and have simply said “I appreciate your gesture, but I don’t need it. It’s more important that you learn from it and try to avoid repeating it the future. On top of that, I’m not sorry for anything I said. At that moment that I said it, I believed it to be the truth, and a reflection of your own hate, ugliness and selfishness. Should that beast rear its head again right now, I’ll say the same thing again. Your choice.” There are two responses to this: 1. “Fair enough.” 2. “Go to hell” (or words to that effect). 🙂 If the second option is used, it gives me a clue that the apology may not have been all that sincere.

      Glad to hear it’s had a positive influence on you. Wishing you the courage to speak the truth, and the strength to hold fast afterwards.
      ~Miro

  5. Raven of Leyla February 5, 2012 at 2:01 pm #

    I am so thankful for you posting this poem today! We use this word phrase far too often, in meaningless ways. If one does regret, grieve and so on, show it…
    I must remember this poem 😀

    • Miro February 5, 2012 at 2:28 pm #

      Thanks, I’m honored to hear that. It’s so true, so many speak without thinking, and the essence of certain words and sentiments are being reduced because of it. Some misconstrue this poem or the quote at the beginning as being without compassion. They have completely missed the point. The message isn’t to never take responsibility for wrong-doing, it’s to think long and hard with every act, and accept the consequences of our actions. As the poem says, “Sorry is a too late word.”
      Peace & grace,
      ~Miro

  6. dontchawannadream February 5, 2012 at 4:20 pm #

    I agree with you, Miro.
    I think people use this word way too much. Sometimes (most of the time actually), they don’t even mean it…
    Thanks for sharing your poetry and your talent!
    Hugs,
    Cha.

    • Miro February 5, 2012 at 6:39 pm #

      Very true, nothing more ironic than a person who apologizes often. It’s nothing to be proud of. 🙂
      Glad you enjoyed it, thanks for reading.
      Peace & grace,
      ~Miro

  7. Noel Williams February 5, 2012 at 5:53 pm #

    I agree with you Miro but quite often we mistakes and the only appropriate thing to say is, “I am sorry”

    • Miro February 5, 2012 at 6:36 pm #

      Always better to show it than say it. That requires more time and effort than many are willing to give though. 🙂
      Peace & grace,
      ~Miro

  8. christyb February 6, 2012 at 10:20 am #

    Actions certainly speak louder than words. One can say “I’m sorry” without meaning a word and that can show through to someone who is truly listening. Well done.

    • Miro February 10, 2012 at 10:11 am #

      Very true. My father always said, “The less you say, the more you’re worth.” That is certainly true in the case of apologies. In his opinion, if you weren’t talking, you had more time for doing.
      Peace & grace,
      ~Miro

  9. Sacrilege of the Goddess February 6, 2012 at 1:02 pm #

    You capture the unspoken thoughts within my head, in your words. As a result of years of abuse, I have had a history of apologizing way too much and for feeling responsible for everything around me. That really is the ego – that everything comes from me and is centred around me. I had this realization but never quite knew how to put it in words, and where this is concerned, you have once again, done a brilliant job. Thank you for your writing, Miro.

    • Miro February 10, 2012 at 10:12 am #

      Thank you, glad to hear it resonated so much with you. 🙂
      Peace & grace,
      ~Miro

  10. ann February 7, 2012 at 9:33 am #

    This is thought provoking, my mother always told me not to say I’m sorry and I found it interesting, never asking her why but she too is a warrior spirit.
    Thank you,
    Ann

    • Miro February 10, 2012 at 10:06 am #

      She was a wise woman. Probably very self-confident, yet very thoughtful of other people. 🙂
      Peace & grace,
      ~Miro

  11. Savira February 8, 2012 at 8:19 am #

    ‘Sorry’ for some means much more than for others.. I find that the word ‘sorry’ is loosely used and hence the meaning or the thought is lost.
    How one uses the word… depending on the tone and the reflection of it through one’s body weighs much more than saying nothing…

    • Miro February 10, 2012 at 10:04 am #

      For me, the word is lost. Much like “Busy” or “Christian,” it’s a word that has become corrupted through misuse. As the old saying goes, actions speak louder than words. If you are truly remorseful for your actions, show it over time. Say things like “I’ll make an effort to make things right. To earn your trust again” and then have the self-discipline to actually follow through. But these are phrases and actions that “sorry” people aren’t “sorry” enough to utter, because they’re embarrassing, or sound like too much work.
      Peace & grace,
      ~Miro

  12. Sue Dreamwalker February 10, 2012 at 8:26 am #

    An amazing poem Miro.. I was always apologetic, in fact often now I use the word often saying oh sorry I forgot, and Sorry I missed that…. It wasn’t until I gave a friend some healing one day and realized that this friend always would apologise to others and myself and yet she had done nothing wrong.. When asked why, she said she felt unworthy, and that others were better than her, myself included .. And that as she felt inadequate it was as if she had to apologise for everything as she would often get muddled and flustered with herself.
    I told her that she should never apologise for being who she was.. And while the words came out of my mouth.. I realized that was exactly what I was doing..
    We learn many things along a warriors path… And I am honoured to understand the meaning of this poem at Long Last! 🙂
    So no apologies for being Late at visiting 😀

    • Miro February 10, 2012 at 10:00 am #

      Thank you, Sue. Some people seem to have missed the point of this piece, I’m glad to see that you haven’t. The message isn’t about doing wrong and being rude and proud of it. It’s about self-confidence, and trusting others to believe and give benefit of the doubt.
      Thanks for reading, glad it resonated.
      Peace & grace,
      ~Miro

  13. ✰✰♡☮ ThaaNie BiebeR ☮♡✰✰ February 11, 2012 at 6:27 am #

    Woww… Are you an official Poet? 😀
    You know, like , as a job or something?
    You are REALLY good! 😛

    • Miro February 11, 2012 at 7:39 am #

      Thank you. 🙂 Money has nothing to do with the officialness of something. When someone asks you what you do, don’t define yourself by your job that pays the bills. Tell them you are the thing that you’re passionate about.
      Peace & grace,
      ~Miro

  14. ansuyo February 12, 2012 at 9:01 pm #

    I don’t believe people (or warriors) should totally shun the word sorry, but they should never use it lightly. Today people flip a sorry over their shoulder as if that makes everything ok. Only say sorry if you are truly repentant and will make every attempt not to repeat the offense. A word over-used is no longer good, and sorry is definately one of those words.

    • Miro February 12, 2012 at 9:19 pm #

      I still believe it’s more important to *do* sorry than *say* sorry. I can’t see how anyone could be upset with someone who made continuous efforts to show their regret for a mistake even though they never uttered the word “sorry.” It’s a petty and blind person who’ll only accept the utterance of the word “sorry” and nothing else. I’ll take one person making an effort to actually do something about it over a thousand people saying “sorry.” It’s also important to keep in mind the point of the message is to think longer and harder about the consequences of your actions and accept them. Many times, people feel forced into apologizing for something they actually shouldn’t be sorry for simply because someone had a differing opinion. A big part of this message is to stand up for yourself and have self-confidence. We do things with passion. We do them for a reason. Sometimes it rubs others the wrong way. That doesn’t mean it was a mistake. No one can deny the fact that there are many, many people in the world who are far too sensitive for their, or anyone else’s, good.
      Peace & grace,
      ~Miro

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