Son of a Bitch

30 May

Son of a Bitch

Good morning again
You son of a bitch
I say to my body
As I feel the first glitch

Cracking and popping
As I try to upright
Fangs in my shoulder
The four year long bite

I’m 32 years old
Or is it 33?
You lose track of time
When you’re in as much pain as me

I feel twice my age
As I swing my legs out
I remember when they
Were steady and stout

I use momentum
To hurl myself standing
And hope for a soft place
If there’ll soon be a landing

The bed is ideal
Or even the floor
Anywhere but the dresser
Its sharp edges bore

I teeter a bit
Wishing knees would awake
But there’s no time to wait
For the rest of my sake

One foot, then the other
Snap crackle and pop
This son of a bitch
Limps on with a hop

I start to veer left
And outstretch my arm
I push off of a wall
To avoid the fall’s harm

In the bathroom now
Almost home free
More things to grab onto
To steady me

I stare in the mirror
See a tired man’s gaze
Eyes droop with fatigue
As he stares through the haze

He squints his eyes shut
Then opens them wide
He knows what I know
He’s on the same ride

A broken down body
Years before its time
Torn apart for a paycheque
It’s earned every dime

If I had known this would happen
I might have gone slow
Seems to be
What everyone else knows

But that’s just not my style
I’ve never held back
I’d rather go all out
Than sit and do jack

And so every morning
Every day, every night
This son of a bitch
And I have a fight

It does what I want
It gets the job done
I show it no mercy
Since it’s certainly shown none

Black out the pain
The aches and the biting
Never give up
Never stop fighting

Smile so that
No one’s aware
Not that they’d even
Really care

And just shake my head
As those with their health
Piss it away
Neglecting their wealth

“If I had that body,”
I’d think in my head
“You’d never catch me
Oversleeping in bed”

“I’d run with that bitch
I’d jump, I’d cartwheel
And without chronic pain
I’d be able to feel”

But I’m grateful for what
I’ve still got to use
Some people have paid
A lot heavier dues

So I get over myself
Get on with my day
And try to not whine
About the dues I do pay

                                 Miro

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